Friendship: A reason, A season, A lifetime

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Hey Lovelies,

I hope you all had a lovely weekend and it doesn’t feel too far away already!  Matt and I had the utmost pleasure of attending my lifelong friend Amanda’s wedding to her wonderful husband Sean.  Whilst there, with people that I have known since I was 10 years old, I definitely got quite nostalgic for ‘the good old days.’  These women, who have grown in to the most remarkable people, have been my friends for a lifetime already and it got me thinking about all the people who have come into, and out of, my life, and it reminded me of the phrase ‘Friendship:  A reason, A season, A lifetime.’  I definitely understand what this phrase means and can relate to it.  Especially as I get older.

When you are young, or certainly when I was, you make friends with pretty much everyone.  Even when we went to France, when I was 8, I made a friend despite the fact that we spoke different languages!  And then as you progress into your teenage years there are the tempestuous years, and mine certainly were tempestuous – I believe I was compared to Kevin the Teenager for the first few years of teenage life.  For those who don’t know who Kevin the Teenager is, watch the clip below.  And for those who do – watch it anyway cause it’s scarily acurate.

But it was during these teenage years that huge, lifetime bonds were built.  Even now I can meet up with these women and it’s like no time has passed since I last saw them.  I would also say that it was during my teenage years, and particularly the end years, that I first made friendships that were for a reason.  Be it to keep each other company, to learn from one another or to meet someone who I would then have a lifetime friendship with, I appreciate every single one.

As I got into my twenties and thirties I continue to make friends that I hope are ones who are for a lifetime.  I know, without a doubt that some are.  But I would have said that about a few people who I’m now not as close with.  And I have to be honest and say that the reason I’m not so close with one of them is because she said the most hurtful thing.  You know how we all have flaws, most people know their flaws and can admit them but having a friend point them out stings, really stings, and is difficult to forgive.  Until recently I would say that this hadn’t really happened to me since my early teenage years and in fairness, during our early teenage years – I think we’re all pretty good at being mean to others – I think it’s to do with a confidence thing and as you become older and more secure there is less reason to tear others down.  That’s why a recent sting hurt terribly. I’ve let people get away with saying some horrible things to me and it really plays on your mind. What I would like to do if it happens again is to be able to respond straight away and not just sit there mutely and take it. Something like “what a hurtful thing to say” or “that’s nasty.”  So now that I’ve had a second friend comment on my weight, when I most certainly haven’t asked their opinion on it, it got me thinking about friendship in the sense of – does it really give us the right to say what we want?  And I would have to say, categorically, no.  Of course you want your friends to be honest with you, if I have a bit of spinach in my teeth, tell me.  If an outfit I’m wearing really doesn’t suit me – please tell me (gently) so I can fix it, if I’m being a dick – please tell me so I can fix that or explain to you why I’m being a dick!  Do not ever comment on something personal, I certainly wouldn’t comment on anything about your physical being! So, this is when friends – who I thought were a lifetime, are possibly just a season or maybe even a reason.

What do you think?  What does being a friend mean to you?  Do you think we should be building up?  Or do you think brutal honestly is a good thing and I’m just being too sensitive?

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